Milford Dupree, though he knew it was rude
Talked with his mouth full of food
He never would burp or walk out in the n***
But he talked with his mouth full of food

His mother said, "Milford, it's crude and it's lewd
To talk with your mouth full of food
Why, even the milk cow who moo'd as she chewed
Never moo'd with her mouth full of food

And the cuckoo would never have ever cuckoo'd
If he coo'd with his mouth full of food"
His dad said, "Get married or go get tattooed
But don't talk with your mouth full of food

And if it was a crime, you would surely get sued
If you talked with your mouth full of food
Why, just like an animal you should be zoo'd
As you talk with your mouth full of food

'Cause you know we're all put in a terrible mood
When you talk with your mouth full of food"
They pleaded, they begged. He just giggled and chewed
And laughed with his mouth full of food

And all they advised him he simply poo-poo'd
He poo-poo'd with his mouth full of food
So they sent for the gluer; they had his mouth glued
'Cause he talked with his mouth full of food.
And now instead of "Good morning", he said
"Gnu Murnood. I wun tuk win mny marf furu foog."