Why should I drive out of town
Just to get the things that I need?
When the best things in life can be brought to my door
With maximum efficiency and speed

I sit by my TV, with my pencil and pad
And I eat every word that they say
A whole world of exciting merchandise
That's only one phone call away


[Chorus]
Buy now!
1-800
1-800
1-800 toll free!


I can make Julienne fries in seconds
Or learn how to play the guitar
I just match, patch and blimp
Repair all the rips seats of my car
I've got knives that last for 50 years
And silverware that I can't lose
And all comes with a mighty guarantee
How on Earth can I refuse?