Closest to the bone
Sweeter is the meat
Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat

Don't talk about my baby
She's slender but she's sweet
Closest to the bone
And sweeter is the meat

Now she'd make a good thermometer
If she drank a glass of wine
She's built just like a garter snake
She climbs up like a vine

My friends tell me I'm a fool
To love a girl like that
Here's the reason I like 'em slim
Instead of big and fat

'Cause closest to the bone
Sweeter is the meat
Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat

Now don't talk about my baby
She's slender but she's sweet
Umm, closest to the bone
And sweeter is the meat
Let's go

Yeah, let's go, yeah, boy
Attaboy
One more, one more
One more, one more
Yeah, boy

In the moonlight.....
Yeah, closest to the bone, yeah
Ahh, look out now

Now she'd make a first class fountain pen
If she only knew how to write
Her figure's like a piece of string
Umm, she rolls up every night

Everybody thinks that I'm a nut
To love this lovely worm
Boy there's one reason I like 'em slim
Instead of round and firm

'Cause closest to the bone
Sweeter is the meat
Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat
Now don'cha talk about my baby
She's slender but she's sweet, umm
Closest to the bone
Umm, sweet, I got another one now
Listen here

Umm, she'd make a fine piccolo
If she only stayed on key
Boy she's shaped like a rubber band
And she loves to snap at me

Everybody thinks I'm insane
To overlook her faults
But here's the reason I like 'em skinny
Instead of full of schmaltz

'Cause closest to the bone
Sweeter is the meat
Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat

Don't talk about my baby
She's slender but she's sweet
And it's closest to the bone
And sweeter is the meat