Boyfifty

Verse 1
I should fucking give up and then call my life a loss
Got a bigger salary but I don't feel like I'm a boss
Money means nothing you know you gotta find some self-love
Everything I fucking did it made me feel like
I don't ever wanna grow so old
But its got me a way and I feel so afraid of myself
Tie the rope and hang myself
When I was 16 almost died from an OD
21 I fucking tried to do the same thing
22 I wanna fucking do the same thing
Laminate my brain when you feel my fucking skull

Verse 2
How I live in California but I'm always fucking cold
How I say I hate the beach but I'll never leavе the coast
How I act like I'm improving but I nevеr wanna grow
How I talk about my love for you but never really show love
Don't know anymore if imma blow up
Dreams are so naive and oh my soul's crushed
Socially end up feel like a robot
Programmed to defect until I smoke up
Isolate myself
Don't know why my friends still stick around I would've bailed
Always think there's something wrong with me it's getting hard to tell
But the temperature keeps rising and I'll burn up til I melt
Time to wash off the blood on my hands from October
I talk to the devil we dancing I told her
I love you to pieces don't cry it's not over
I'll see you again when we're done playing sober
Verse 3
17 and still wonder if I'm insane cause (I'm insane cause)
Shit just don't feel the same yuh
My head is tragic and I'm used to feeling pain yuh
I make a fool out of myself and then complain yuh
Why do I rush the end?
You were my only friend
At least I thought you were
Was it just all pretend?
You got me fucked up, well I'm fucked up slide in my head
Then tried to tell me that I'm not enough so I redress
I put my training shoes on
Throw on a silver lining
Around my neck a screw off
The ones that hate my writing
I'll put up on a T-shirt
Prolly says fuck my teachers
Now I'm a dancing clown
And call myself a leader

And call myself a leader