[ROSE]
Please, Caroline
Keep the change

[STUART]
Noah, you're nine years old

[NOAH]
No, I'm not, I'm eight

[STUART]
Eight? Only eight?
But you're in fourth grade now

[NOAH]
No, I'm in third

[STUART]
Really? You're sure?
Isn't that weird
It's like a whole year just
I don't know
Just disappeared
Oh...
I have to get back to the clarinet
Practice the cello
[NOAH]
I gave up the cello, dad

[STUART]
Oh, right
You did
I remember
You're a funny kid
Your mother loved the cello

[NOAH]
Can I go?

[STUART]
It's time that you should demonstrate
More responsibility
Help Rose with the groceries
That kind of thing
In return I'm giving you
A dollar fifty every week
Allowance
You can use it as you like but I-

[NOAH]
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy!
[STUART]
I hope you'll save it 'til you're older
Buy yourself a chemistry set

[NOAH]
Bubblegum
Cigarettes
Sea monkeys
Comic books
Barbie Doll dresses on the sly!
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy!

[STUART]
That's what I wanted back when I was a boy
A great big shiny chemistry set

[CAROLINE]
There's almost a dollar some weeks
In the bleach cup
My kids could go down to the dime store and get
The shiny junk they make to catch a kid's eye
And what they sees and what they wants
They could buy
Stuff I can't buy 'em now
Always in the lurch
Some weeks I could even tithe at Church
[STUART]
A great big shiny chemistry set
With test tubes, a spirit lamp, powders, and flame
Do you want a chemistry set?

[NOAH]
No

[STUART]
Oh
Well, that's a shame
It's your money, Noah
So please keep in mind

[ROSE]
Caroline keeps what Caroline finds

[NOAH]
That night I leave a dime and a nickel
In my pants pocket
To see what would happen
Caroline finds them

[CAROLINE]
They go in the bleach cup

[NOAH]
They sit there all week
Fifteen cents, fifteen cents
Five jawbreakers
A big bag of red hots
A Daredevil comic book
Fifteen cents!

[CAROLINE (with NOAH)]
They sit there all week
Fifteen cents, fifteen cents
A bag of sugary things
Stain the mouth orange
Stain the teeth green
That upset the stomach

A grown woman got no business
Taking pennies from a baby