[Intro]
Ah, that's the one, that's the one. Now, you can dim it just a taste, you know, if you care to dim it, just as long as we can see. (Dim it way down, dim it way the fuck down, way down.) (I don't think it goes down any farther than that.) (He's just sitting there.) I can't see a thing. Now, let's take a show of hands, how many people want that light on? A show of hands, show of hands. (We can't see any hands, the lights aren't on.) Ha, I was about to get to that. (You can't see, ah, wait a minute, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see.) This better be good. (One, two, three, four)

[Chorus]
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind

[Verse 1]
This old engine
Makes it on time
Leaves Central Station
At a quarter to nine
Hits river junction
At seventeen to
At a quarter to ten
You know it's traveling again

[Chorus]
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind

[Verse 2]
Trouble ahead
A lady in red
Take my advice
You'd be better off dead
Switch-man sleeping
Train hundred-and-two
Is on the wrong track
And headed for you
[Chorus]
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 3]
Trouble with you is
The trouble with me
Got two good eyes
But they still don't see
Come 'round the bend
You know it's the end
The fireman screams
And the engine just gleams

[Chorus]
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
[Outro]
And you know that notion just crossed my mind

Hey, is that the picture we were gonna see in a few seconds? (Yeah, that ain't a Rembrandt, that's a Dahli, isn't it?) Yeah, that's a Dahli. (I was led to believe it was a Rembrandt, however, that'll do.) What's the name of that one? What's the name of that one? (Man with his head exploding, ha ha) That's an excellent picture if you see it in really full stunning color, a good reproduction of the real thing. You guys ready? We're gonna unload a new one on you, another new one, yet another. Ready?