[LESTER]
My name is Lester Burnham
This is my neighborhood
This is my street
This is my life
I am 42 years old
In less than a year, I will be dead
Of course, I don't know that yet, and in a way, I'm dead already
Look at me, jerking off in the shower
This will be the high point of my day
It's all downhill from here
That's my wife Carolyn
See the way the handle on those pruning shears match her gardening clogs?
That's not an accident
That's our neighbor, Jim, and that's his lover, Jim
Man, I get exhausted just watching her
She wasn't always like this
She used to be happy
We used to be happy
My daughter, Jane
Only child
Janie's a pretty typical teenager - angry, insecure, confused
I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her
Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser
And they're right
I have lost something
I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I know I didn't always feel this -- sedated
But you know what? It's never too late to get it back