My name is Christian and I’ve been on a mission
To accomplish things that most people be wishin'
Despite admonitions the haters are dishin'
Following intuition until success comes to fruition
I just turned twenty
Got a pocket with some pennies, but not really that many
Chasing cheese like a mouse, so you can call me Mickey
No girl, no spouse, so I’ve got no hickeys
Candy with my clothes cause I’ll rock them now and later
Superhero tees and some Supra Vaiders
More unique than that meal, pork butts and taters
Make you think I’m making mils, just like the Lakers
I'm a toilet seat heater, chain candy eater
Sharper than a meat cleaver
Take pictures for a living, kinda like Peter
AKA Spider-Man
I used to want to pilot fighters and
Maybe bombers, but then I’d probably kill more than Jeffrey Dahmer
And that would terminate my conscience like John Conner
This is just a little song I made in my own honor

[Hook]
If you don’t know me then you should listen
This is just a little peek at what you’re missin'
If you don’t know me then you should listen
This is just a little peek at what you’re missin'
If you don’t know me then you should listen

I love to eat
Probably couldn’t tell by this sick physique, but
I like to stay unique, so I’m the fit gamer with the widow’s peak
Shod with fresh sneaks, but I could roll with the geeks
Fluent in "leet"-speak, I'm making girls say, “eek!”
Still willing to wear fur, fleece, or minks
But would still show up at Comic Con with some pink cheeks
Acting like Pikachu, but hey look at you
Are you really doing what you really wanna do?
Some people just do what’s expected
I read the script, but I chose to neglect it
That’s why I’m so eclectic
Blind as a bat if you can’t detect it
Who else you know that can convert English to Metric
And also take a Kanye beat and wreck it!?

[Hook]
If you don’t know me then you should listen
This is just a little peek at what you’re missin'
If you don’t know me then you should listen
This is just a little peek at what you’re missin'