I ever tell you about the time I had to solve this case
When some crab motherfucker straight invaded my space
It was approximately 8:47 P.M
I was on my way home comin' back from the gym
Yo, my muscles kinda ached, they felt rigid and stiff
But my mind was at ease from this Coltrane riff
Playin loud... out at Fulton and Truce
'Till a Jeep drowned it out with Xzibit and Snoop
As I get closer to the heezy baby
Certain parts of my body started actin' crazy
My ears got to twitchin' and my right hand shook
I had the sudden need to speed so I decided to book
As I arrived on the block to see a bunch of kids scopin' out my building
Noticin' the door wide open
I jetted up the stairs past signs of forced entry
Expecting to see my humble abode stripped empty
Oh hell no!

(ah, ah, ah, ah,) X8

Ay yo, my trip from the front door to the second floor
Had me feelin' so alone, embarrassed and insecure
My worldly possessions that I cherished and prized
Flashed in a matter of seconds before my eyes
But not photographic, more like alphanumeric
You know, VCR, TV, laptop, C3
VS, MP, LP, CDs
RL, (?), N-I-K-E
Not to mention USA and RC3C
That opened up in D.C. for Run DMC
This has gotta be a nightmare, somebody pinch me
But up the stairs I see my ten-speed GT
Right where I left it, rather bizarre
Still felt violated, my apartment door was ajar
As I stormed in, thinkin' it's about to be on
The window was wide open, but nothin' was gone
As I dashed to the edge I held my head past the ledge
I seen two hooded figures flippin' over a fence
They was way beyond capture, so I took a step back
So I could figure this shit out cuz it was getting intense
The computer was on, file cabinets wide open
Bookshelves was tipped over, they searched, but didn't steal
Wait a minute, the picture from my built-in safe
Was slightly tilted to the side, I was beginning to feel
The same tingling in my ears and hands
Everything else in the house was there, so work with me one time
But my instincts failed me not
The safe was blown wide open
They've stolen my priceless book of rhymes!
Oh hell no!