Is the Richard Gere gerbil story true?
Who came third in World War II?
Did Sooty sleep with Sue?
These things I think about
When I'm out with you
What are the holes in biros for?
Which one's which in the Corrs?
Did Jeff Hearst really score?
'Cause frankly you're a bore and I am not

And if it's leaving season
You're second on the bill
If you won't leave me baby
I'll find someone who will
I tried love, I'm sorry, I tried love

Does God ever get it wrong?
Where has Gary Barlow gone?
Why is Christmas Day so long?
It just goes on and on and on like you

And if it's leaving season
You're the second on the bill
If you won't leave me baby
I'll find someone who will
I tried love, I'm sorry, I tried love
Do, do, do
I tried love, I'm sorry, I tried love
Why is there ketchup on my sleeve?
Do you think that Adam fancied Eve?
What if Eve could not conceive
And he had to breed with Steve?
We'd all be gay