Friedrich Schiller
Love and Intrigue (Act 1 Scene 6)
MARSHAL KALB, in a rich but tasteless court-dress, with
Chamberlain's keys, two watches, sword, three-cornered
hat, and hair dressed a la Herisson. He bustles up to
the PRESIDENT, and diffuses a strong scent of musk through
the whole theatre—PRESIDENT.

MARSHAL
Ah! good morning, my dear baron! Quite delighted to see you again—pray forgive my not having paid my respects to you at an earlier hour—the most pressing business—the duke's bill of fare—invitation cards—arrangements for the sledge party to-day—ah!—besides it was necessary for me to be at the levee, to inform his highness of the state of the weather.

PRESIDENT
True, marshal! Such weighty concerns were not to be neglected!

MARSHAL
Then a rascally tailor, too, kept me waiting for him!

PRESIDENT
And yet ready to the moment?

MARSHAL
Nor is that all! One misfortune follows at the heels of the other to-day! Only hear me!

PRESIDENT
(absent) Can it be possible?

MARSHAL
Just listen! Scarce had I quitted my carriage, when the horses became restive, and began to plunge and rear—only imagine!—splashed my breeches all over with mud! What was to be done? Fancy, my dear baron, just fancy yourself for a moment in my predicament! There I stood! the hour was late! a day's journey to return—yet to appear before his highness in this—good heavens! What did I bethink me of? I pretended to faint! They bundle me into my carriage! I drive home like mad— change my dress—hasten back—and only think!—in spite of all this I was the first person in the antechamber! What say you to that?
PRESIDENT
A most admirable impromptu of mortal wit—but tell me, Kalb, did you speak to the duke?

MARSHAL
(importantly) Full twenty minutes and a half.

PRESIDENT
Indeed? Then doubtless you have important news to impart to me?

MARSHAL
(seriously, after a pause of reflection) His highness wears a Merde d'Oye beaver to-day.

PRESIDENT
God bless me!—and yet, marshal, I have even greater news to tell you. Lady Milford will soon become my daughter-in-law. That, I think will be new to you?

MARSHAL
Is it possible! And is it already agreed upon?

PRESIDENT
It is settled, marshal—and you would oblige me by forthwith waiting upon her ladyship, and preparing her to receive Ferdinand's visit. You have full liberty, also, to circulate the news of my son's approaching nuptials.

MARSHAL
My dear friend! With consummate pleasure! What can I desire more? I fly to the baroness this moment. Adieu! (Embracing him.) In less than three-quarters of an hour it shall be known throughout the town. [Skips off.

PRESIDENT
(smiling contemptuously) How can people say that such creatures are of no use in the world? Now, then, Master Ferdinand must either consent or give the whole town the lie. (Rings—WORM enters.) Send my son hither. (WORM retires; the PRESIDENT walks up and down, full of thought.)