[Verse]
There was an old zany who lived in a tub
He had so many fleabites
He didn't know where to rub
He kept looking for an honest man
Said "I'm going to find him if I can"
If i could meet diogenes today
This is what I'd say:

[Bridge]
Rub-a-dub-dub
Oh, diogenes!
Find a man who's honest!
Oh, diogenes!
Wrap him up for me
Oh, diogenes!

[Outro]
Find a man who's stolid-solid
Hook that fish if he's in the sea
Hunt him! Trail him!
Catch him! Nail him!
If he is free
Have you got your stick?
Have you got your lantern?
Can you do the trick
And produce him, please!
Catch that fellow!
Ring that bell
Oh, diogenes!