Lowswimmer
29
I won’t get back in the saddle
I can’t switch off the empathy channel
The static spoke to my lack of backbone

So go slowly
I wouldn’t be able to say it
It left me embarrassed
I won’t sit back at the table, I won’t

And somehow

It’s gotta be everything
Let me envision it -
Given that generally
I wasn’t good at this
I have to plan it out
I’ll grow up eventually
Wish I hadn’t mentioned it
I hadn’t regretted it
Until you said it had been
Trouble to carry me around

I can’t get back on the ladder
But I’d live herе - Heaven, Seattlе -
If only! Heaven’s a gamble
I don’t want now
And I won’t sleep, but if I was able
I’d trace it back to the cradle
It held in its confidence better somehow
Hell, I won’t

I’ll always be fledgling
Always in anything
I set the precedent
It was belittling
Not even a little bit of pride
Somewhere in the middle I
Lost it in New Orleans
Got ‘em to post to me
Without saying anything
I’ll let you handle it, alright?

It looks like you’ve got it all covered anyway, right?
You’re better than me at it, I would just mess it up, it’s fine
I somehow, regrettably, pass up on everything I find
Like, I haven’t lived enough to be nearly 29