[Intro: Jon Lovitz as Llewellyn Sinclair & Harry Shearer as Otto]
Perhaps we're all a little mad, we who don the cap and bells and tread beneath the proscenium arch. But tonight, you will all be transformed from dead-eyed suburbanites into white hot grease fires of pure entertainment! Except you -- you're not working out, I'll be playing your part. Drag.

[Verse 1: Hank Azaria as Wiggum]
Long before the Superdome
Where the saints of football play
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear thеir hellish roundelay

[Verse 2: Chorus]
New Orlеans! Home of pirates, drunks, and whores
New Orleans! Tacky overpriced souvenir stores
If you want to go to Hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississip'
New Orleans! Stinky, rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans! Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul
New Orleans! Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
New Orleans

[Verse 3: Julie Kavner as Marge & Hank Azaria as Apu]
(What's the matter, honey, are you lost?)
I'm lookin' for my sister, Stella
Ma name is Blanche DuBois

I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras
A never-ending party... ha!
I'm a faded southern dame
Without a dime
I'm collecting for The Evening Star
Come here, I wanna kiss you just once, softly and sweetly on your mouth

I am just a simple paper boy
No romance do I seek
I just wanted forty cents
For my deliveries last week
Will this bewitching floozy
Seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paper boy to do?
(Kiss) Woohoo!

[Verse 4: Harry Shearer as Ned]
Stella! Stella!
Can't you hear me yell-a?
You're puttin' me through hell-a
Stella! Stella!

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 5: Chorus & Julie Kavner as Marge]
Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers
You can always depend on the kindness of strangers
To pluck up your spirits and shield you from dangers
Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret:
A stranger's just a friend you haven't met
You haven't met
Streetcar!