[AMÉLIE, spoken]
September 3rd, 1975, at 6:28 pm and 32 seconds, a bluebottle fly capable of 14,670 wing beats a minute lands on Rue St. Vincent, Montmartre. At the same moment, a sperm with an X chromosome, belonging to Raphael Poulain, makes a dash for an egg inside his wife Amandine. And nine months later... moi

[ALL MEN (EXCEPT RAPHAEL)]
Raphael Poulain likes giving salutes
In his army doctor uniform
Always liked the idea of a daughter

[RAPHAEL]
But not so sure now that I’ve got one

[ALL MEN (EXCEPT RAPHAEL)]
Likes to swim, but dislikes wet swimming suits
Likes to clean and organize his tools
He likes his daughter in theory
But doesn’t really like it when he

[RAPHAEL]
Has to touch her

[AMÉLIE]
World’s best papa
I used to see it on his coffee cup
And it's not
Just a phrase
Every thirty-one days
He provided a monthly check up
Held my hand
Inside of his
Although there was the glove
Everytime he came near
I was sure he could hear
My heart filling up full of love

[Raphael uses his gloved hand to move young Amélie’s hand out of the way. We hear young Amélie’s normal heartbeat.]

[ENSEMBLE]
Ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum
[Raphael puts the stethoscope on her chest. her heart races wildly.]

[ENSEMBLE]
Baaaaaahh
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah!
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-ba!

[Raphael jumps away from his daughter. We hear young Amélie’s normal heartbeat.]

[ENSEMBLE]
Ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum

[He listens once more through the stethoscope, and the heartbeat goes wild. Even more excitement]

[ENSEMBLE]
Baaaaaahh
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-baaaaaaaaah!
Bub-ba-bub-ba-bub-ba!

[RAPHAEL, spoken]
Amandine!
[Amandine enters.]

[GINA, GEORGETTE, SUZANNE]
Amandine Poulain likes the flavor of stamps
Has a nervous twitch around her eye
She likes a bath at bedtime

[AMANDINE]
But dislikes when my fingers wrinkle

[RAPHAEL]
Our daughter’s heart is racing

[AMANDINE, spoken]
Mon Dieu!

[RAPHAEL]
I fear it might be broken

[AMANDINE, spoken]
She’s broken!

[RAPHAEL]
I worry that her heart cannot
Handle any stimulation

[AMANDINE]
What do we do?

[RAPHAEL]
We cut all recreation and teach her at home

[RAPHAEL & AMANDINE]
We can keep her heartbeat stable
Your school is the kitchen table

[RAPHAEL]
Now

[AMANDINE]
No need to take the school bus

[RAPHAEL]
Just leave it to the two of us

[AMANDINE]
No germs or boys or bullies plus

[RAPHAEL & AMANDINE]
Say hello to your new classmate