[HELEN, spoken]
You think you're gonna get all the money, huh? A damn dog!
Do you have any idea what I do for that woman?
Half of her blood used to be my blood

[sung]
Fluffy little face
With your fluffy dumb tail
Wagging to the pace
Life is tough with your plushy bedding and your tushy-petting-getting
Ooo, I could choke you 'til you croak 'cause my life's a joke

You see
For once in my life I'd have glee
If I didn't have to lift a finger
If I linger here by the Harlem Meer
And I have to lag
And help an old hag with her handbag
"Bless you"
Bless you
"Achoo"
Tissue?
"Thank you"

Yes, if we talk in the crosswalk
Then a bike group bikes by, bye-bye
And a horse on its course
Pulls its carriage with a force
And splat, you'll be flat
Like a hat that's been sat on
Mwahahahahahahahaha
Mwahahahahahahahaha
Mwahahahahahahahaha
Ugh, that's exhausting

If there's a will, there's a way, there's a way
If there's a will, there's a way, there's a way
There's a way to get away scot-free
With a sneaky-deaky murder of the first degree
So, doggy don't mess
See now who's a pedigree
Me

[spoken]
Oops, I did not mean to come this way