Every year the wife and I lay out the welcome mat
For all the in-laws far and wide and our third cousin, Jack
We trim the tree and hang the wreath and every time forget
That what comes through our door each year is the strangest Christmas yet
Two full days fore Christmas Eve, grandma comes by car
With a pumpkin pie that she had baked that tastes like her cigar
She pulls up in a pickup truck with crazy Uncle Don
He parks it where he does each year, right on our front lawn

It's the strangest Christmas yet, so strange
Strangest Christmas yet, Wooo
It'll take some time to forget the strangest Christmas yet

Oh lookie here the children dear have built a roaring fire
Too bad it's in our driveway and with a stolen tire
Then came time for photographs the camera's set to strobe
And I said to Uncle Bob, "You wanna close your robe?"
Cousin Billy likes his guns, and naturally he came armed
He's on the lookout for invaders from the planet Zarn
Uncle Teddy put on weight, he'd gotten rather large
We couldn't take him through the door, he stayed in the garage

It's the strangest Christmas yet, how strange
Strangest Christmas yet, really strange
It'll take some time to forget the strangest Christmas yet