I got a stiff neck, it's about to drive me insane
I took a Viagra pill and didn't swallow it quick enough

A lady walked into the bar
And sat down on a stool with a duck under her arm
And the guy sittin' next to her said, "Where'd you get that pig?"
She said, "That ain't no pig," he said, "Hell, I was talkin' to the duck"

My wife had been lookin' for cars
And she came in one morning and she said
"I want somethin' that'll go from zero to a hundred-and-sixty in ten seconds"
And I bought her some bathroom scales