Pontoon putt-putt with the tape on 10
Dixie cup pink wine in the Labor Day sunshine
I'm sliding the sunfish up through the wakes
Coming up too quick, making mistakes
Quiet climb the chrome ladder in the front
While they're all yawning, under the awning
AstroTurf green hot to the touch;
Sneak open the cooler, they've got too much

--Past Taipei, through the Taiwan straits
We sailed on in, me and my mates
It was my first time running my own ship
But my buddies didn't care they didn't give me no lip
So many times we've been side by side:
But I never carried a load with so much pride
You see I'm from Grand Rapids and up my way
We grow the best blueberries in the U.S. of A
And when we pull into old H.K
The little markets'll have something special next day
--At dawn I had a scotch and made them switch off the porn
Cause there's nothing that's dirty about the ocean in the morn
The radar said nothing and nothing crossed my mind
When they came starboard side up from behind

--Down below deck sip the south island sec
Think when last put in port, I was sorting the sort:
And then a girl caught my eye as she was waving goodbye
Tell me my dear, I said warm and sincere, who do you know on the ship
And then she curled up her lip:
"I don't know no one there yet but just wait see what you get"
--Pop the top and drink your drop we'll never go home
Curse and cry and why oh why we'll never go home
We'll never go home
We'll never go home

The radar said nothing and nothing crossed my mind
When they came starboard side up from behind

I never saw them coming even though it was light;
They beat two of my men simply out of spite
And then they came back to the helm, kicked me over and said
"Do what we say or we'll kill you and your men"
I looked back at those pirates with their beady little eyes;
I gathered my courage and I could see their surprise
When I said "Go ahead you could cut my throat
But you ain't never getting the cargo of my blueberry boat"

--It's sad and it's cold at the bottom of the sea
But at least I got my blueberries with me