TOBACCO
Madison Draculas
Thanks for calling [Beep] suites, how can I help you?

Hey man, how's it goin'? I'm calling you from the future

Ah, good

Two-thousand twelve over here

Ah

Oh man, how's it goin' over there?

Uhh, it's good so far
Just gotta go out, check this up here in about, mmm, five minutes

Oh, excellent
Oh man, what a crazy week

Yep

Oh man, you been watching the news?

Of course I watch the news

Oh man, what's been your favorite story?
Uh, pretty much, well, I'm tired of the Iowa caucus, this story
Get it over with, folks

Heh heh, that's what I'm sayin'

Yeah

Oh man, I just, I just had some S'mores

Well hey, does a body good at least some people

Heh heh heh heh! Yeah, it does
Oh man, how's the coffee over there?

Uh, pretty good

Oh, excellent
Oh man, so what's been your favorite program on TV this week?

Uh, I'm sorry, what?

Your favorite program

Oh, uh, usually I watch NCIS

Oh, NCIS
Yeah

Oh yeah, that's a good one

Yeah, next week they're supposed to have uh, an episode in which they uh, are uh, possibly going after Agent Barrett which I guess makes sense

Aight, completely. That guy's a numbnuts

Um actually Agent Barrett's email

Yeah, that's what I, I know
Oh man, that lady's got, she's got, yeah
All that stuff, yeah
Oh, you got the sniffles?

When don't I?

Heh heh heh! That's what I'm—

When don't I? I've got chronic hay fever

Don't we all these days? Yeah?

Yeah

Y'know it's all that, it's all the preservatives
Well my doctor prescribed me some nasal sprays, and my nose is like "Hm, really? Interesting. Nah! Won't work"

Oh man, my conversations with my nose usually go a lot worse than that
You know my, you know I put something up there, it goes "Ay! Buddy! What's goin' on?"
You know?
To me it says that
Yeah

Yeah

Oh man
What a, what a crazy year this is gonna be, it's gonna end
Everything's gonna come to an end

Yep, well, well they say that wh— when the Mayan calendar runs out later this year then the world's done

You believe in all that stuff?

Well I'm just, I'm just making note of that, that's all

Yeah. You don't believe it though?

Nah, c'mon

Well y'know, I mean I don't know why, y'know, as they said about Y2K and then that happened
Y'know and then I was stuck in a shelter for a year

Eh, not me. It didn't affect me much at all, not even at work

Oh man, your computer didn't go out?

Nup. No, I wasn't even at Madison in 2000

Oh man, where were you?

Um, uh back home

Oh
Oh man, Madison's gotta be pretty cold today

Well, cold? Nah. Uh windy? Definitely

Oh man

Yeah

Oh man, you got any Draculas or anything there?

Any what?

Any Draculas or anything?

I dunno

I dunno about that, man. I heard about a Dracula problem in Madison
Back in the, beginning of the month

Well, well actually now that you mention it, there might be something going on [?]
Probably why I have to go check on something here in a minute

Oh man, you ain't gonna go out and get hurt by Draculas are you?

Nah, as long, as long as you drink enough coffee you're gonna be just fine

Heh heh! They don't like that!
Oh man, and Chupacabras too
That's been a big problem around here
Yeah, all my goats keep getting stolen in the night

Well, alright, I gotta get goin' and check on that Dracula problem

Oh man, that sounds like a, y'know if you need me to come out I could probably help with that

Nah, nah
No, they don't, they don't want any, they don't want a piece of me

Heh heh heh heh!
Oh man

Well there you go!
Well, alright
Well you have a happy new year and I'm gonna go take care of this problem

Yeah, you too. When do you want me to call back?

Um actually, look I'm gonna be pretty busy most of the rest of the night, I got a lot of cleaning and stocking of stuff to do

Alright, so maybe like tomorrow

Sorry?

Maybe like tomorrow

Eh, maybe during the day

Oh, yeah

There you go

Oh yeah, what time you start? What do you, when do you get on? Like eleven?

Uh, actually uh, I'm gonna be pretty much all over the board, so you just gotta uh, call when you call
Y'know?

Oh man
Well this—

I'm gonna, I'm gonna go check on that problem

Okay cool, well this, just so you know this, my name's Dave

Aight

Dave Davids

Alright, sounds like a plan

With an S

Alright
You have yourself a good one, my friend

Alright
See you, Dracula

Yep, well buh-bye

Bye