[GEOFF ALGEBRA]
Well there's all sorts of creatures
Down on Dangly-Doodle Farm
Like wise old Mr Octopus
With way too many arms
There's Mr Pig
And Mr Cow
They're always in good moods
But that's cause they don't know
They'll soon be sliced up into food

[GEOFF ALGEBRA with SONIA/ANGIE]
Mr Bear
What's that over there?
That's where your hopes go to turn into despair!
Mr Bear
What's that over there?
That's where your dreams go to die!

[GEOFF ALGEBRA]
Mr Raccoon
Wants to go to the moon
He'll end up as a bus driver soon
Mr Porcupine
Thinks he'll read the news at nine
He'll end up as a janitor
Who stinks of turpentine
[GEOFF]
Please do not applaud
I'm a massive fraud
Shacked up with the agent
While the wife thinks I'm abroad

[SONIA]
You said you were done!

[GEOFF]
Oh I say that to everyone
Sometimes when I'm tipsy
Me and Angela still have fun

[GEOFF with SONIA/ANGIE/TOMMY]
Mr Bear!
I don't even care
Sonya takes it up the bum
And shaves her pubic hair

[SONIA with ANGIE/TOMMY]
Mr Bear!
That's an overshare
That was for your birthday
And you're never going back there!
[TOMMY with ANGIE]
Mr Bear!
I'm in disrepair!
Didn't check my prostate
Now it’s started sprouting hair!

[SONIA with ANGIE]
Mr Bear!
I have private healthcare
Ninety pairs of shoes
And thirty different types of cookware!

[GEOFF with SONIA/ANGIE]
Mr Bear!
I feel laissez-faire
Maybe when the lockdown lifts
I'll hit on the au pair

[ANGIE with SONIA]
Mr Bear
I don't mean to swear
But I'd give my fucking nipple
For a lock of Tommy's hair

[GEOFF with TOMMY/ANGIE/SONIA]
Mr Bear!
What a lovely chair
Mr Bear!
You got the news caught up in your hair?
Mr Bear!
What's that over there?
Mr Bear!
Mr Bear!
[Instrumental]
[SONIA/ANGIE/TOMMY]
Oh yeah!

[GEOFF]
The farmer thinks the
Dangly-Doodle creatures are asleep
But Mr Bear's a swinger
Like the pigs, and cows and sheep
He visits every pen and sty
And always brings the fun
And jerks off Mr Quackington
Who's always first to cum

He fingers Mr Badger's bum
And Mrs Donkey's quim
Then he fromps with Mr Chicken
‘Til they both are quite done in
Then he runs around the farmyard
Trying to shove it where it fits
And ends the night by blorting
Over Mrs Badger’s tits!

[GEOFF]
Lower your expectations
Maybe you could get a job
In telecommunications
No matter how you try
You'll never reach the league of nations
The best you'll get is middle rank
In trading operations

So lower
Your expectations
You'll never win an Oscar
So there's no congratulations

The future that is coming
Will not meet specifications
And no amount of visualization
Will save you from your own deterioration

[GEOFF with SONIA]
Mr Bear
What's that over there?
That's a tramp who thought he'd be
A multimillionaire

Mr Bear
What's that over there?
That's where self esteem goes to die

Mr Bear
What's that over there?
That's the disappointment
That is waiting everywhere

Mr Bear
What's that over there?
That's where your schemes go to die
That's where your dreams go to die

[GEOFF/SONIA/ANGIE]
That's where your dreams go to die!