[Intro: Alex Schor]
Yo, it’s Alex Schor, I think of this song as me taking
A fat steamy dump on the music industry

[Chorus: Alex Schor]
I just robbed the Walmart (Yuh), got a can of beans
I just sat on a nail (Eugh) and I ripped my jeans
I reused my toilet paper (Bruh), I’ve been goin’ green
She said I’m a gaslighter, babe, you don’t even know what that means

[Verse 1: Alex Schor]
Damn, this song is so ass, it kinda makes me wanna eat it (What?)
I called my penis Michael Jackson (Hee hee), all I wanna do is beat it
My cat’s goin’, “ERRRRRRRRH”, I think I forgot to feed it (What?)
Whenever I post on the ‘Gram (Yup), the comments told me to delete it
I got hard, I got an erection
I point a tourist in the wrong direction
I rigged the 2020 election just 'cause I think Joe Biden is sexy, yeah he sexy
I went pee pee in a bottle of Pepsi
Oops, I missed, now I got messy
Kick you in the balls, I’m feeling like Messi (That was so bad)

[Chorus: Alex Schor]
I just robbed the Walmart (Yuh), got a can of beans
I just sat on a nail (Eugh) and I ripped my jeans
I reused my toilet paper (Bruh), I’ve been goin’ green
She said I’m a gaslighter, babe, you don’t even know what that means
[Verse 2: Yuno Miles]
Who the fuck just took my shoe?
Why the fuck they leave?
Why you leave the one by itself and take the other one, dawg?
I don’t even know, but I feel like a frog
Hold up, bro just ate a hot dog
AHAHAHAH! This n***a said “EH EH EH EH”, HAHAH
Bitch, I’m short, I’m not really tall, but it don’t matter, I’m taller than a straw
N***as say I feel like a dog, feel like a zebra ANYLHAKAISHALA
Fuck it, I don’t really care 'cause I came from nothing
I’ve been on the block, baby, I was struggling
Everybody know I sound like some fire: *fire “noises”*

[Chorus: Alex Schor]
I just robbed the Walmart (Yuh), got a can of beans
I just sat on a nail (Eugh) and I ripped my jeans
I reused my toilet paper (Bruh), I’ve been goin’ green
She said I’m a gaslighter, babe, you don’t even know what that means

[Outro: Alex Schor]
Yeah, um
Please don’t sue me for emotional damages as a result of this song