THE SHIP GOT BIGGER and bigger with each row I made, and the sun pounded down on me like a heavy hand. Even if I was used to the heat from the hot summers of South Carolina that I grew up in, it still caused me a shortness of breath, but that didn’t dishearten me from hoisting myself up and climbing aboard. Alexander is here, and I will meet with him no matter what.
When I was fully on the ship, I expected to hear arguing, possibly between my lover and d’Estaing. Civil conversation, perhaps, just whispers in French of what d’Estaing was to do. I did not expect silence.
The hot sun pounded down on me even harder, sweat making my clothes stick to my back. My heavy uniform wasn’t helping at all, and the only thing that made me feel cooler was thinking of how the British must bake in their heavy red coats and packs. I spied a door and was about to walk to it when someone tugged on my arm, dragging me to the door I had seen. Before I could issue any protests the door was opened and I was tugged upright from underneath my arms. In the room was what appeared to be d’Estaing sitting behind a desk that swayed with the ship—clearly it had not been bolted to the floor. A chandelier hung above his head, small but present. Then my eyes caught on russet hair.
Alexander.
Before I could make for him, the Frenchman spoke up. “Ah, Mr. Laurens, we have been expecting you.”
My brow elevated in confusion. “Expecting me?” My heart began to pound. Had someone seen me on the road? Had Washington sent ahead guards—for I had been foolish enough to mention that I was going to Alexander—and they were here, ready to drag me back to headquarters?
D’Estaing merely smirked. “You do not think a young man storming an American ship would go unnoticed, do you?”
I nodded, not using words; my throat had closed from fear long before he’d finished speaking.
“Anyways. You mentioned you were here on urgent matters that had to do with Mr. Hamilton.” At the sound of his name, Alexander stiffened in posture, but his eyes unguarded themselves a little more. I could see a ghost of a smile on his lips from the way they quirked up at the corners. “Very well, you may have him for ten minutes, as I need to speak on professional matters with him as well.” There was a pause. Then: “Would you like me to leave you two alone? I can tell now that these are private matters.”
I nodded again, though my eyes remained trained on Alexander—his face, his eyes, his lips, his hair, the way his posture showed he was smiling inside even if his lips were pursed on the outside. My hands itched to hold him—any part of him, any part at all—which was why I hurried out the words: “Yes, yes please, if you would be so kind. Thank you, Mr. d’Estaing, sir.”
He didn’t offer any type of response, just got up and closed the door behind him. Immediately, I turned to Alexander, embracing him in my arms. He melted into my touch, smiling with his head resting on my shoulder. “Oh, John, what a surprise it was to hear a man of your description coming to save me.”
I smirked, pulling out of the embrace to place my hands on both of his shoulders. “Your noble Laurens, you knight in shining armor, come to free you from your prison!” I exclaimed in my most heroic voice.
Alexander laughed; it sounded like magic. “Yes, yes, quite.” He avoided my gaze for a moment, his right hand moving to grasp his left forearm. “But I do not think that is the reason for your visit.”
I sucked in a breath. I opened my mouth to speak before clamping it shut again and thinking of a better option. Before the rational side of my mind could say anything I grabbed the sides of his hips and pulled him forward so that our lips connected beneath each other’s. He inhaled sharply through his nose, surprised, before melting into it, arms wrapping around my neck eagerly. When we pulled away, he looked delighted through his shock, but was a grinning mess. “I am very appreciative of your kiss, my dear, but my question has still gone unanswered.”
Still, words seemed to fail me again, forcing me to pull him into another kiss. He laughed against my lips like a schoolboy before eagerly accepting another one. His hands tangled into my hair, sending a few strands astray from my ponytail. I didn’t mind; in the moment I was too enthralled in his lips on mine, his hands in my hair, my hands on his hips, to care for anything else.
Slowly, Alexander pulled away. “John, as much as I love your lips on mine, you cannot avoid answering me in favor of giving me kisses.”
I connected our lips again briefly. “Oh, but I can,” I murmured before leaning forward for our lips to meet once more.
Alexander gave into a few more before putting a hand on my chest, keeping me from leaning forward again. “John, I am serious. What has triggered you risking the general’s wrath and coming here?”
I sighed, allowing my hands to drop from his hips. “I—I had a conversation with Lafayette the other day. He was apologizing to me about what you two did, and I consoled him, telling him it was okay. Then he mentioned how you said that I was leaving you.”
Alexander’s eyes were blown wide, his skin paling immediately after the words came off my tongue. “He told you that?”
“It must’ve slipped from his lips through his hysterics.” I looked back up at him. “But you thought that I would leave you? That this argument would bring an end to our relationship like so many other arguments had brought an end to you and Ned’s, to you and Kitty’s?”
Alexander sighed. “I guess at the moment, yes, I did. This may make me sound cowardly, but I was so afraid, John, really. And it was I who suggested myself up to Washington for this mission. It was originally for Tilghman, but I was able to persuade the general to make him trade places with me instead.” He sighed again. “With our fighting, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen after—if there was an after, that is. We haven’t fought so much before, and I will be the first to admit that it scared me. But, this.” He gave me a quick, chaste kiss, before pulling away. “John, this is more than I needed to know that you were still mine.”
“But I was scared, too, Alexander.” I gingerly brought my hand to his cheek. “I thought I was going to lose you. And I can’t lose you, not after—” Not after Francis, not after Mary. Even if I hadn’t thought about them in a while, they still haunted me like ghosts even if one of them was not dead.
Alexander leaned into the palm of my hand so that his lips grazed my wrist ever so slightly, understanding what the end of the sentence was without me having to say it. “But you didn’t, my dear. I am here now, and I am yours, and that is enough I should hope.”
“Yes,” was all I offered before he leaned forward to capture my lips under his. It was sweet and chaste, not suggestive at all, for we both knew we’d never be able to start something that we wouldn’t be able to finish.
When Alexander pulled away he wouldn’t meet my gaze. “But enough about me. What are you going to do, now that your mission to tell me of your affections has been fulfilled?”
I ground my teeth together. That I had not thought of. I had been so entangled in the idea of getting to Alexander and telling him that he was still mine that I had no time to even consider the after. What would I do? Would I wait here with Alexander until he finished his mission and then return to headquarters with him? Would I have to return to White Plains without him by my side and have to face Washington’s wrath alone? Would d’Estaing not tolerate my presence on his ship after I had had my moment with Alexander?
Slowly, I regained hold on myself. “I do not know. I suppose I shall have to ask d’Estaing if I may be allowed to stay on the ship with you until your mission is completed.”
“I shall put in a good word for you in case d’Estaing should need some convincing,” Alexander said with a mock bow just as a knock sounded upon the door.
“That you will,” I responded with a smirk while I opened the door, revealing d’Estaing to be behind it.
The Frenchman bowed. “Gentlemen.”
“Sir,” Alexander and I said in unison while the former stepped forward so he was closer to d’Estaing. “Would it be all right if Laurens were to stay here with me until I’ve completed my mission?”
D’Estaing seemed to think about it for a moment before giving a curt nod. “George!” he yelled, and a man came running in. “Please make Laurens an appointment at a tavern.”
Before George could respond Alexander stepped forward, shaking his head. “’Tis unnecessary. Laurens will share my tavern room; we are no strangers to living in close quarters.”
D’Estaing provided a curt nod once more. “Be it as you will.” And with that he left the room.