Haley McCallum
Deathbed and Beyond
You can call it a love song
You can call it a death rattle
You can call it a battle cry
You can call it the national anthem for your side
When I’m on my deathbed
I’d rather have a memory of this conversation
Than just a blank space in which I’d fill with fantasy
I write to turn strangers into family
I write to cultivate space, write to plant these seeds
I write to shine a little light on ‘em
See the cipher spit drip right on ‘em
I write often, to see the seed change into a tree on my grave; where others only see a stage
I see billions of people, and billions of years
All leading up to us standing right here
And if that ain’t a miracle, I am not a sinner
I’m a man tryin’ to dam a river
So we’re not all just water under the bridge
Give me a lake where my sisters and brothers can swim
Because I don’t have a lot of close friends
I try to make up for that with a lot of far ones
As if the light from a million little stars was
As warm as the sun on summer Sundays
I leave a CD on the counter for another someday
Like… let me explain:
When I was 17, I was considered deceased for five minutes
And I remember everything, so I don’t know my limits
How can you? When you see the stars like candles
Unmoved by the past tense force of your last breath your
Last steps never echo too far
No heaven, no hell, just an ocean of stars
And when it’s all finished, you fall in it
The ripple’s so small and it fits like a halo
Hey yo, I woke up in the ambulance
The paramedics askin’ what you laughin’ at?
And after that I inhaled so hard
That a little Midwest impaled my heart
Now maybe that explains my art:
Half Twin Cities, half made of stars
I’ve been to the other side, really
Y’all want to see what I brought back with me?