[Chorus 1]
Mama, don’t look at the closet in the guest bedroom
Or maybe you’ll find the corpse of me from yesterday
Papa, don’t bring your gun, I am on a Zoom
With the vampire queen of the United States 

[Verse 1]
And sure we started small
Binging cartoons on Netflix
But now I think we’re married and on our first divorce

On Halloween and Christmas
We fought over kitchen wall aesthetics
But she forgave me after I stole her a nobleman’s horse

[Chorus 2]
Sister, don’t ask about all the meat in the freezer
It probably was never human anyway
Brother, don’t piss me off, yeah I’m a people pleaser
But I’ll punch you which’ll make you break my neck

[Verse 2]
And now I’m moving on
To a giant king with tusks and horns
Who drinks my tears like tablespoons of honey
But every crown he makes for me
Has brambles and thorns
So I will take his horse and take all of his money

[Chorus 1]
Mama, don’t look at the closet in the guest bedroom
Or maybe you’ll find the corpse of me from yesterday
Papa, don’t bring your gun, I am on a Zoom
With the vampire queen of the United States

[Verse 1]
And sure we started small
Binging cartoons on Netflix
But now I think we’re married and on our first divorce

On Halloween and Christmas
We fought over kitchen wall aesthetics
But she forgave me after I stole her a nobleman’s horse

[Bridge]
Thing is, I don’t even like horses
I think they’re terrifying
They trot past me and I get scared stiff

But now I have fifty horses
Do you want to see them flying?
I can push them all off a cliff
Yeah, I don’t even like horses
I think they’re terrifying 
They trot past me and I get scared stiff

But now I have fifty horses
Do you want to see them flying
I can push them all off a cliff

[Chorus 1]
Mama, don’t look at the closet in the guest bedroom
Or maybe you’ll find the corpse of me from yesterday
Papa, don’t bring your gun, I am on a Zoom
With the vampire queen of the United States 

[Verse 3]
And now I’m ghosting a shapeshifter who writes in blood on the walls
I make sure to read their message and to never write back
And I piss off everyone I meet just in case it’s them
‘Cause they sucked out the marrow of my horses as a snack

Now I’m ghosting a shapeshifter who writes in blood on the walls
I make sure to read their message and to never write back
And I piss off everyone I meet just in case it’s them
‘Cause they sucked out the marrow of my horses as a snack

Yeah, now my horses are dry bone and I’m all alone
‘Cause they sucked out the marrow of my horses as a snack
And I’ll never write them back