Jam Baxter
Soi Dog
[1st Verse]
Yo. My mouth keeps running
Centipede lips, ton of skinny legs bugging
Out of work clowns in London town blubbing
Must be the reason your house keeps flooding

…yeah you can blame the burst pipes
I blame the fact you think bliss is your birth right
He went from a raven on his first flight
To racing the devil on a dirt bike

I got my betting slip two to one
Rinsed all the winnings on juice and rum
Yeah, wear your fatigues bruv to shoot your gun
And you can ruminate on what you’ve become, but

Fuck the state of the nation
Kill the shoobs dead, take the payment
Another day anther stage invasion
They’re prang cuz their grave awaits them

…I just sit and ponder
My opening gambit to say to Satan
Yeah take a statement.. Take a statement
All of our stories corroborate, that’s how we operate
Sit back, watch the universe oscillate
Fully fledged insect organs that pollinate
Little saggy faced pigs to sting
This is some fucked up dive that I’m drinking in

Saw your skin in real time all wrinkling
Like time lapse footage of an injured king
Last night I had the time of my life…
I can’t remember a single thing

Must have been sick, drunk slumped in a ditch
Bugs munching my lips. Instant win
Yeah… Sing your hymns
You still batter your wife with ballistic limbs

So I admire your crimson wings
Your gruesome hooves and your twisted grin
I sprinted in Linford Christie
Just to tell you I’d rinsed your gin

[course]
Every last drop fuck apologies now…
Land of [the poverty?] [...in quarantine?] now…
Invader Soi dogs howling…
I was sat on Soi 38 growling…
[2nd Verse]
When I leave earth I’m taking it with me
Crawl out course through the veins of the city
Life’ll melt your face in a jiffy
A damp sponge force fed a plate full of chilli

Simultaneously lazy and busy
Spent it all, what a shame, what a pity
I hit Caesar's Palace got gassed
Pulled four aces out and ran away with the kitty

This shits trippy, how many have I had?
Legs like jelly at the jam
Limbs like spaghetti, white tenner in my hand
Kicked out, started a rebellion and ran

What? I perform a poor impression of a man
Start afresh, get as messy as I can
What? The chef’s special was inedible
But the stir fried humans were incredible

[course]
Every last drop fuck apologies now…
Land of [the poverty?] now…
Invader Soi dogs howling…
I was sat on Soi 38 growling…

[skit]
[Female voice]
In that operating theatre, Dr Wilder Penfield would er... perform his brain surgery
He would er... cut the skin. Pull. Take the skin flap back, roll it back. He would then literally remove the skull, the top part of the skull. Patient all this time is under a local anaesthetic, completely conscious

[Male voice]
And there was the surface of the brain, visible right in front of our eyes. I had a bunch of electrodes and then we stimulate the temporal lobe. And then they would be transported into Africa or something, and they remember some experience they had many, many years ago. And it would be very vivid to them just like a dream
NOW…