Seth MacFarlane
The Last Time I Saw Paris
Brian: So if you would recall with me now one of those warm evenings in the city of love. Paris is everybody's mistress. Every man has his own secret memories of Paris
The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay
Background singers: I heard the laughter of her heart in every street café
Brian: Hey Garçon!
Garçon: Oui, Monsieur?
Brian: Tell me, have you seen a girl?
Garçon: A girl? What kind of girl?
Brian: Any kind. My boat leaves tomorrow. Say, do you think that girl sitting over there would be offended if I said hello?
Garçon: Hahaha. Monsieur, she has winked at you. She has dropped her handkerchief, and right now, she is smiling at you. What does that usually mean to you, eh?
Brian: She’s a cop. The last time I saw Paris, her trees were dressed for spring
Background Singers: And lovers walked beneath the trees, and birds found songs to sing
French Girl: Brian, I enjoyed having dinner with you
Brian: Oh, I enjoyed being with you
French Girl: Oh, it was delicious! The champagne, the duckling, the crepes suzette, the brandy
Brian: It was nice. Oh, by the way, here's my half of the check. Say, you're quite a doll. Do you have a husband?
French Girl: Mais non
Brian: Engaged?
French Girl: Mais non
Brian: Boyfriend?
French Girl: Mais non!
Brian: I don’t know who this guy Meno is, but he must be a powerhouse
French Girl: Brian, I'm afraid I must go home
Brian: Ah, but it's early. We've got a world of time
French Girl: Oh, but I must
Brian: C'mon, this is our night. Let's give your mom and dad a chance to go to sleep
French Girl: That's just it. I live alone, and there's no one to feed the parakeet
Brian: Alone? Well, hey, let's hurry home and cram that little bastard full of birdseed! Taxi!
Background singers:And he's found songs to sing
I dodged the same old taxicabs that I had dodged for years. The echo of their squeaky horns was music to my ears
Phew. How much further up is your apartment?
French Girl: Only six more flights
Brian: No wonder you don't worry about living alone. These stairs make a wonderful chaperon
French Girl: Brian, you never told me what kind of work you do
Brian: Oh, I do a little bit of freelance writing. I used to sell vacuum cleaners, but I had to quit, because I couldn't give a demonstration without hiding under a table
French Girl: Oh, I love the Americans. They are so debonair, so handsome
Brian: If you insist
French Girl: What country are you from?
Brian: Huh?
French Girl: Well, here we are. Come on in. I'll turn on the lights
Brian: Do you mind leaving it off?
French Girl: As you wish, chéri
Brian: I'll close the drapes. There, that's better
French Girl: Much better
Brian: By the way, I brought you a little gift. It's a dead chipmunk. Y'see, when a dog brings a piece of road kill into the house and drops it on the carpet, what he's really saying is “I love you.”
French Girl: Oh my! You have such a way with words. Come here, hun. Kiss me
Brian: Don't mind if I do
The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay. No matter how they change her, I'll remember her that way
Background Singers: The last time I saw Paris...