Both: ♪ You and I are so awfully diff'rent ♪ ♪ too awfully different, to ever be pals ♪

Stewie: Do you want to go first?

Brian: Yeah, I'll go.
♪ Your favorite hero is the Marquis de Sade ♪

Stewie: Oh, you're one to talk.
♪ You get a stiffy from Phylicia Rashad ♪

Brian: Oh, one time *PING*

Stewie: ♪ I've a style flair, just look at my hip hair ♪

Brian: Oh yeah, that's quite a nice 'do there

Stewie: Oh thanks

Brian: (as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) For me to poop on!

Stewie: What?

Brian: (normal voice) Oh c'mon you look like Charlie Brown

Stewie: Bite me, Snoopy
Both: ♪ There's not - a whole lot - that we've got, to agree on ♪

Brian: ♪ 'Cause I love the strings of a classical score. ♪

Stewie: ♪ And I like that singer who looks like a whore. ♪

Brian: Ricky Martin?

Stewie: Love him.

Both: ♪ We're too different to ever be pals ♪♪ You and I are ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo ♪

Both: ♪ so awfully different ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo ♪

Both: ♪ Too awfully different ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo ♪

Both: ♪ to ever be pals ♪

Locals: ♪ Dododo dodo dodo dooyo dodo ♪
Brian: ♪ Your head's as massive as a meteorite ♪

Stewie: Oh, very funny. ♪ You have a weenie like a Christmas tree light ♪

Brian: ♪ I bet money, you'll marry a honey ♪ ♪ Who's pretty and funny ♪ ♪ And her name will be Ted ♪

Stewie: Oh a gay joke!.

Brian: I just work with what you give me.

Both: ♪ You might think we're in sync ♪ ♪ But we stink, as a duo ♪

Brian: ♪ 'Cause you get a kick out of carnage and guts ♪

Stewie: ♪ And you get a kick out of stroking your... ♪

Brian: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't say that on TV

Stewie: What? Ego?

Brian: Never mind

Both: ♪ We're too different to ever be pals ♪