I saw a girl with hips like mine
She was proper online famous
Why can't that be me?
I saw a girl with hair like mine
Ten million people love her
Why can't that be me?
I saw a girl not that bright
People listen when she speaks
She's got the world, and here am I
Wondering why can't that be me?

Everyone knows something that I don't
Everyone can see that I'm a joke
But underneath the joke there's me
And I don't get it
They thought that I was crazy
To think someone could love me
But then I moved to Sydney
Became Mariel and Brice kissed me
When they say "Fat", that's me
When they say "Ugly", that's me, they mean me
When they say "Weird, embarassing, stupid Muriel Heslop
Useless piece of nothing"
Me

Everyone knows something that I don't
Everyone can see that I'm a joke
But underneath the joke there's me
I don't get it
Maybe I was crazy
To think someone could love me
But then I moved to Sydney
Became Mariel and someone kissed me
Mariel
Why can't that be me?