[Verse 1]

You old middle of the road ass
Don't know the code ass
Mid ranged, flat EQ, not even low pass filtered
You probably like gray better than silver
Closet full of short sleeve dress shirts for work
Like Dagwood or Dilbert
If you were a nut, you'd be a filbert
About as edgy as Bob the Builder
Yeah, your whole style's all butter knife
You make Jack McBrayer look like a guttersnipe
You probably get ten types of offended at adult content
In just a friend and do what you like
Do some helium
Sound of your voice is extra extra medium
Anything to dress up your mediocre proscenium
Get zesty
I bet you go to karaoke nights and do Kiss medleys
And that's only a bad thing cause you're the one doing it
Your lameness contagious, pick a thing and you'll ruin it
Human silverfish
The last thing you created was a burnt mixed CD of Wilson Philips hits
Low white dull light but wilted filament
If you're a baby then god damn it, take a baby step
Good grief, you probably sleep in a safety net
Head full of gray berets
Dream about winning but in life won't place a bet
[Hook]

So middling, middling, middling
No riddling
Blink all night and won't miss a thing
Middling, don't say no, go for anything
Try to find a way to go in between, in between

[Verse 2]

Your whole style's all vanilla bean
Let's see you try to fence sit under a guillotine
I'd rather watch nature films where gorillas bring
Than see footage of your life's most chilling scene
Okay, that was kinda mean
I just want you to be less like a limabean
If I could I'd use magic or a time machine
To rewind the thing
You wouldn't want me to, not Inspector Space Time
Just a normal constable
Like watching Keystone Cops move at normal speed
Mistaking all mediocrity as normalcy
You sit at home and watch Boogie Nights without the fist fights or the porno scenes
You eat plain frozen yogurt
And won't know what to do when reality shows are over
I'd like to stick your head in an empty can of Folgers
I got with your member card from your local grocer
[Hook]