[Deep Voice]
Hey, Daniel

[Daniel]
Yo?

[Deep Voice]
You ever thought about what it might be like to have a smaller nose?

[Daniel]
Sometimes. I mean, I wrote a song about it in 2016

[Deep Voice]
Oh, really?

[Daniel]
Yeah, man, you wanna hear it?

[Deep Voice]
I don't think I really have a choice

[Verse 1]
Someone told me, someone told me, someone told me, someone told me
Someone told me something and it goes like this
You got a big nose, I can feel it when we kiss
It's pressing on my face whеn I wanna feel your lips
I want a jet ski, but you got a battleship
And I'm like, oh snap, would you look at this crap?
My nosе is now the focus of a lover to attack
This side of things, I've got a shoddy center of my face
When her banging body makes a naughty thought begin to shape, what?
[Chorus]
I've got a big, I've got a big nose
And yours (yours) does not even (I can't even), it does not come close (ahem)

[Verse 2]
Fix it up with surgery
Smaller nose with urgency
Rhinoplasty, fix a nasty
Facial forming circuitry
Got a big nose, so round and bulbous
Don't lie, in your eyes, I can see you know this
Porous, it's so abhorrent, arborous
You're born with this overachieving olfactory organ

[Bridge]
W-w-wait, no, simplify like Thoreau
If you think my beak is for show, get lost, (real fishy) Nemo!
My nose is so big it's almost unfair
One day it'll make me a millionaire
My nose can detect particles in the air
It can smell everything that you don't know was there
The dye from your knee-high blue sock wear
The scent from the vent from the White House there
Obama's in the office and the caucus ain't fair
The type of shampalonie that you use up in your hair?
[Interlude]
(Shampalonie?)
It's Italian!

[Verse 3]
Alright
Down to the nitty and the gritty right quick
Start talking, you got options, use a hot chick
Little slick trick and your brain'll stick
'Cause when you got a big nose, then you got a big-- heart
(La la la la) You've got a big heart, (La la la la) you've got a big heart, (La la la la) a big throbbing heart, (La la la la) I've got a big heart -- and dick

[Daniel]
So, you want to uh... (whistles)

[Girl]
Um, no