I’m choking on my envy just put me down gently
Estranged and on the verge emotions starting to tempt me
This carcass made of spoils the spindles and coils
Inoculated antidotes were nothing but loyal

What’s it like with the grief and the realization
They tell me to wait but I’ve been real patient
The fact of the matter is I might not make it
My chance too slim and that’s why I don’t say shit
I don’t need placement if I’m on a list
Turn away the curation so-called journalist
Made the sessions don’t believe that I’ll be needing any therapist
In spite of their advice I’ve still been learning how to bear with it
Oh and for the record do prepare
All the omens I’ve been making treat em like a new despair
With the writing on the wall I laid a clue and where’d I mark it
The furnace outta service it’s too cold in this apartment
Still I’ve been deterred unproductive
Patterns alternated what’s familiar is disrupted
Passage of acts and that’s where we diverged
Took the capsule it swelled right before it submerged

I’m choking on my envy just put me down gently
Estranged and on the verge emotions starting to tempt me
This carcass made of spoils the spindles and coils
Inoculated antidotes were nothing but loyal
What’s it like with the loss and the chills how it aches
How we used to drive down to the edge of the lake
With the cascading current to carry the skepticism
Said the limited minutes you got you wanna spend it with em
Understandable had to go got to make it by the curfew
Wasn’t my intention to bring it up or to hurt you
I just wanna hear it cause you’ve been so apathetic
You say that you’re more susceptible and prone cause it’s genetic
Only child no one ever taught me how to share
Tell me how am I to learn when I got nobody there
Keep the bloodline intact put the burden onto me
But it’s the repetition grating working in monotony
Trapped been in a bubble in this extended period
You would ask what’s the cause well I say there’s a myriad
Wake up wanting to end it and I’m sleeping so terribly
You say that you got it easy well at least when compared to me

Trained to recognize distress and any signs of harm
Was given a head start before they sounded the alarm
And I will reap the consequences for the years to come
I turned a blind eye to the symptoms that were clear to some

I’m choking on my envy just put me down gently
Estranged and on the verge emotions starting to tempt me
This carcass made of spoils the spindles and coils
Inoculated antidotes were nothing but loyal