This is the closest thing I’ve found
To a semblance of happiness I doubt
It’ll last much longer it never does so
Now I’ll go to the dark into the unknown

It’s difficult articulating just how I’m feeling
I fall apart and crumble down every layer is peeling
You’re getting closer to the center you can see my insides
I’m only rotten to the core but I can wish that in time
I go to prove myself and show you all that I’m not the one
They make me out to be a travesty and demon in one
I’m nothing perfect I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself
I’m still assuring I ain’t hurting contradicting my health
Ever since December anything I remember
Is nothing good I miss the days when you put up with my temper
I know I’m hot-headed not sending warmest regards
I wouldn’t think you’d wanna see me since we drifted apart
Now the nights are long and the days falling short
You ain’t been calling up my phone but now I’ve been calling yours
I want a last time I need to hear you speaking just once
I still will love you all despite the things you’ve said and you’ve done

This is the closest thing I’ve found
To a semblance of happiness I doubt
It’ll last much longer it never does so
Now I’ll go to the dark into the unknown
You say I’m so gifted but what is my gift
When I be ruining Christmas by causing a rift
I’m stirring up the melting pot hurt the ones that I love
I do whatever that I want cause no one strikes from above
If they were watching me they’d obviously be sending a sign
I need autonomy no stopping me from living my life
There ain’t no message in a bottle coming up from the pipes
I really think I’m only awful to the ones that I like
I wonder how they put up with the words that I said
I try to keep em to myself and keep em all in my head
I hate confiding cause I find my thoughts are nothing but dark
And often find myself at sea but like I can’t disembark
Won’t appreciate me till when after I’m gone
At least I lived a simple life doing things that I want
You couldn’t trap me or steer me right into a corner
I did what I had felt was right thanks to all my supporters

Four walls caving in
There’s no saving him
Will they ever hear his real name
Or know what it’s like to feel pain

This is the closest thing I’ve found
To a semblance of happiness I doubt
It’ll last much longer it never does so
Now I’ll go to the dark into the unknown
Four walls caving in
There’s no saving him
Will they ever hear his real name
Or know what it’s like to feel pain