[WILL]
I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y
By Sattidy I larned a thing or two
'Cause up to then I didn't have an idy
Of whut the modren world was comin' to!
I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's
Almost ev'ry time I took a walk
'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone
And a strange womern started in to talk

[GROUP OF MEN 1]
What next?

[GROUP OF MEN 2]
Yeah what?

[WILL]
What next?
Gather ya 'round!
Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go
They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high
About as high as a buildin' orta grow

Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City
It's better than a magic lantern show
Y' c'n turn thе radiator on whenever you want somе heat
With every kind o' comfort every house is all complete
You c'n walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go
[MEN]
Yes sir!
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go

*Instrumental*

[WILL]
Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go!
They got a big theayter they call a burleycue
For fifty cents you c'n see a dandy show

[MAN 1]
Gals?

[WILL]
One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty
As round above as she was round below
I could swear that she was padded
From her shoulder to her heel
But later in the second act when she began to peel
She proved that everything she had was absolutely real
She went about as fur as she could go

[MEN]
Yes sir!
She went about as fur as she could go