[Verse 1]
Hello all you boys and girls
I'd like to take you to the inside world
It's quite an irregular place to be
But never fear, you're safe with me
Well, maybe

[Verse 2]
Golden hair of macramé
Against the face that's cut from stone
The white porcelain is screaming, "Ayee!"
Thank God the boy is not alone

[Chorus]
I don't believe in Santa Claus
I don't believe in spite
I have no use for beauty dolls
Especially on this night
I don't believe in miracles
I don't believe in lies
I don't believe in holograms
For I am the Frizzle Fry

[Bridge]
Andy's painting green again
This time they might take him away
When Barrington starts to breathe again
It may just take us all away
[Chorus]
I don't believe in charity
I don't believe in sin
And if you don't believe in me
We'll play this tune over again
I don't believe in Pinochle
And I don't believe I'll try
I do believe in Cap'n Crunch
For I am the Frizzle Fry
Yes I am the Frizzle Fry

[Instrumental Outro]
[Guitar Solo]