[Verse 1]
I've been to hell. I spell it, I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
Stood there, and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
And if I had my druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee
Call it pointless

[Verse 2]
When I need relief, I spell it THC
Perhaps you may know, uh, vaguely what I mean
I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory
As I slowly inflict upon myself a full lobotomy
Call it pointless
Pointless

[Bridge]
Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease
There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries
Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs and trips to DMV
Call it pointless
Pointless

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 3]
I've been to hell. I spell it, I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen
And if I had my druthers, I'd screw that chimpanzee
Call it pointless
Pointless
Pointless
[Instrumental Outro]