[Verse 1]
Let's be friends, what do you say?
We can picnic in the graveyard
While our matching puppies play
We can get a mani pedi
We can scrub it all the way
And then everything I do can be exactly like you
And we can both be miserable too
But at least I can be miserable with you

[Chorus]
Oh, name our babies after each other
And if we're drunk enough, you're my lover
Oh, we both hate solitude
So let's just both be misеrable too
But at least I can be misеrable with you

[Verse 2]
I'll be Thelma, you'll be Louise
We will always be together, we will be be for real
Except I secretly despise you cuz you're skinnier than me
And I promise not to shine if you promise not to whine
So we can both be miserable too
But at least I can be miserable too

[Chorus]
Oh, name our babies after each other
And if we're drunk enough, you're my lover
Oh, we both hate solitude
So let's just both be miserable too
But at least I can be miserable with you
[Bridge]
I don't wanna have to drink alone
I don't wanna have to make than entrance on my own
And I promise not to ever look any better than you
Oh, but maybe I want you too bad, too bad, too bad

[Verse 3]
I can't pretend, everything's okay
You could've been my maid of honor
But you stole my groom away
So I held you under water
'Cuz I thought that you should pay
It's too bad we can't friends
And we'll never make amends
Because we are both too miserable too
But at least i'm not as miserable as you

[Chorus]
Oh, name our babies after each other
And if we're drunk enough, you're my lover
Oh, we both hate solitude
So let's just both be miserable too
But at least i'm not as miserable as you