What- what is this stuff?
This isn't clam chowder- it's, it's

That's my Manhattan clam chowder, you soup snatcher
The real question is what on earth is this bowl of sludge?

Hey! That's my gumbo you're calling sludge
What I want to know is would why anybody would just eat tomato soup by itself?

It's not my fault they don't have a good mushroom soup here
So, I take it this is your bowl of creepy, milky seafood

You know, I'm appalled
I'm truly appalled and ashamed to have ever called any of you friends
Seeing what kind of soups you all eat
And even having to- to taste one?
It- it makes me sick!

(Gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo, gumbo
Tomato soup, tomato soup, tomato soup, tomato soup, tomato soup, tomato soup
Clam chowder, clam chowder, clam chowder, clam chowder, clam chowder
Manhattan clam chowder, Manhattan clam chowder, Manhattan clam chowder)

Is this even soup?
Is it even food?
I'd rather swallow oil than something so crude
Gumbo is the best (Is it even soup?)
Better than the rest (Nothing more than goop)
Put it to the test, you will be impressed (Kinda looks like poop- dirt)

Who are you to talk?
This is not exactly smooth as silk
Tell me!
Is it really chowder, or just spoiled milk?

You're just unaware (Is it made of mold?)
That it's something rare (Soup is getting cold)
And if I'm being fair, I'd rather eat some hair than yours (That hurt!)

How dare you compare this-
What's it called? (Clam chowder)
How dare you compare this disgusting clam chowder
To silky as satin Manhattan clam chowder?

But nothing's as good as tomato with parsley
If you sprinkle it sparsely
As one would a powder

Can we reconcile
Can we stay a group?
This argument keeps heating up (Can we heat up the soup?)
Is this something we can fix? (Heat them up a smidge)
Stuff is breaking into cliques (Or store them in the fridge)
Throw her up against the bricks, are there any tricks?
What if someone picks?

Everyone should order the same soup
Then we would have nothing to lose
No one could decide what the lame soup is
If there were only one soup to choose

Everyone should order the same soup
Then everyone would put down their knives (And pick up spoons)
No one would be able to blame soup for
The problems that we have in our lives

[?]
Everyone should have the same soup