In college, I spent all my days
My back, my shoulders, thighs
Exposed in most material ways, to make it through the night
I tried protection but did it stay on? Well it didn't, that is
Why I've got to lug around this fleshy 9-month whore-ish crown

The father, Jacob, Jason, or Dean; Who knows? Who is the face?
Who is the man who planted the seed inside below my waist?
I'm trying to eat healthy, this baby has some picky taste
You probably would like to know the-
1, 2, 3, 4!

Five ways that I'll reach around this fucking instrument without
A second chance to write this song about the man who put his dong inside of me
Why can't I see the face that's looking longingly
Up at the еyes who can not cry about the child that is a
Lie straight to thе face of mom who thought I had it with a blonde
With Christian morals and the fix, but it's from anonymous dick
I pushed it out and with a pout, I looked at her face short and stout
I couldn't recognize the eyes the baby had
I'm freaking out!

I squeezed out the baby, was it Tyler, Mark, or Brady?
Man, my memory is hazy of the man who
Helped me make this creature, did I have it with my teacher?

Then again he's just some scholar guy that I blew

In college, I spent all my days
My back, my shoulders, thighs
Exposed in most material ways, to make it through the night
I tried protection but did it stay on? Well it didn't, that is
Why I've got to lug around this-
1, 2, 3, 4-!

Five-year-old that still I hold
She has brown hair and eyes of gold
And I still don't identify the man that gave her amber eyes
So now I scan for, though the man's anonymous, I have a plan
'Cuz DNA will not decay
I'll test her spit to find out

Who and where the father is, who gave me children with his jizz
Who came and went no money spent on child support to pay my rent

Results came back, my jaw is slacked
He banged me in his Cadillac
The man dented my can he was no other than this rich fuck, Jack!

I squeezed out the baby
Jack's the father, this is crazy
Man that fuck was pretty lazy on his own part

So the man who gave me this illegitimate baby
Changed my whole life
Baby gravy from his bleeding heart