[Intro]
A lesson
In how to be successful
To get a good profession
With financial protection
Avoid the next recession
And get your parents blessing
And that nice flat in Hendon
Make it your new obsession

[Verse]
First go to uni
And then you write a CV
Apply for jobs in TV
Media and advertising
While always emphasizing
Your love for filing, modernizing and enterprising
You're in luck, turns out they're hiring

[Chorus]
Oh!
80.96 years on average
Your life you have to manage
Before it goes
Oh!
Now on with the show
Yeah!

[Verse]
And now you meet a girl
And shе’s your whole world
So buy her a pearl nеcklace
And then propose
And then have a kid
A second and a third
Two boys and a girl
Ruby, Alex and Curt

[Verse]
Now Ruby goes to uni
Then Alex goes to uni
Then Curtis does an art foundation
Then goes to uni
Now Ruby’s feeling broody
Meets a boy and gets producing
A nice set of grandchildren
Robbie, Mary and Susan

[Chorus]
Oh!
80.96 years on average
Your life
It’s gone
It’s vanished
What can you show?
From years and years and years ago?
[Bridge]
Your life feels wasted
Your kids have vacated your family home
You should have faced this years and years ago
Cause now it’s the end of the show

[Outro]
So my lesson?
On how to be successful?
Yeah, it won’t get a mention
When you’re old and grey and mental
Forget about professions
Forgot the flat in Hendon
Cause when you’re on your deathbed
Give it a fuck successful