[Verse 1]
The year’s 2009
And I’m unsupervised
On the internet
Nothing could go wrong, I bet
I often spent my time
Watching vids online
And I don’t know this yet
It might be something I regret

[Pre-Chorus]
‘Cause how was I supposed to know
The things I clicked on long ago
Were actually material
For someone else’s weird-ass fetish!?

[Chorus]
Oh, why did it have to be me?
I can’t believe what I’m seeing
But now it seems appealing-
No! My brain is playing tricks on me
How could the image on the screen bring these unexpected feelings?
Catalyzed and compromised
I turn back time to shield my eyes
But, no, I guess it had to be me
Why did it have to be me?
Oh, no...

[Verse 2]
The years go flying by
And now I spend my time
Looking into it
‘Cause I guess I’m a degenerate (sigh)
I forget sometimes
That there are kids online
And I think back to it
I wonder if it’s happened yet

[Pre-Chorus]
The internet’s a funny place
But it can mess you up in ways
I wish I knew before the days
I spent time meddling in adult spaces
[Bridge]
Oh, do you relate to me?
Or is this song problematic?
Am I being dramatic?
Oh, my innocence and purity
Reduced to nothing so early
At this point, there’s surely-
No more point to close your eyes
Be careful where you socialize
But it might be too late

[Outro]
Sexy times and violent crimes
The things they do to growing minds
I wish I knew before the time
Where it had to be me
Why did it have to be me?
Oh, no...