Skit: He wears a snake skin underwear, which women refer to as "The Python Pouch."
He once slayed a vampire with a chorus
Chuck Norris has a book of facts on him
He is the only man qualified for "The Awesome Award."
He once outran a cheetah
He can stop a bullet in midair, just by looking at it.
He once killed himself, for creeping up on himself
When he goes out in public, he wears a cape
At age 5, he put his mom on time out, for not buying him fruit roll-ups, ahh, delicious fruit roll-ups!
Nectar of the gods!
It's a paper thin, delicious, fruity experience
So what I say, "Mom, stop being a bitch!
And let your kid endulge in his fruit roll-ups!"
He is, the most interesting man in Decatur!