[Verse]
If there were no government wouldn't there be chaos
Everybody running 'round, setting petrol bombs off
And if there were no police force, tell me what you'd do
If thirty thousand rioters came running after you?
And who would clean the sewers? And mend my television?
Wouldn't people lay around without some supervision
Who'd drive the fire engines and fix my video?
If there were no prison, well where would those robbers go?

[Refrain]
And what if I told you fuck off?

[Verse]
What if there's no army to stop a big invasion?
Who'd clean the bogs and sweep the floors? We'd all have immigration!
Who'd pull the pint at the local pub? Where'd I get me fags?
Who'd empty out the dustbins? Would I still get plastic bags?
If there were no hospitals, and no doctors too
If I'd broken both my legs, where would I run to?
If there's no medication, if there were no nursers
Wouldn't people die a lot? Who would drive the hearses?

[Refrain]
And what if I told you fuck off?
[Verse]
If there were no butcher shops, what would people eat?
You'd have everybody starving if they didn't ket their meat?
If there were no water, what would people drink?
Who'd flush away their you-know-what? But of course mine never stink
What about the children? Who'd teach them in the schools?
Who'd make those buggers keep in line, learn them all the rules?
Who'd tell us white-washed windows? When to take down doors?
Who'd tell us to make a flash of tea and survive the Holocaust?

[Refrain]
And what if I told you fuck off?