[Intro, spoken]
Yeah, we don't want to do anything to scare your children
That's the last thing we wanna do
We don't wanna scare anybody

[Verse 1]
Flying high on ether, adrenochrome and reefer
Smiling like a dog with a Treacher Collin's face (Ooh!)
Me, I feel fantastic, but I smell like burning plastic
And my mind is as elastic as the fabric of space

[Bridge]
I’m far too weird to live, (Far too weird to live)
But I ain’t too rare to die (Ain’t too rare to die)
Take a good hard look
You can see it in my bloodshot eyes

[Chorus]
They call me Doctor Sunshine, (Call me Doctor Sunshine)
I’ll make you feel just fine (I’ll make you feel just finе)
I’ll write you a prescription for some sunshinе in your life

[Verse 2]
See, I’m seeing clearly—just ask Timothy Leary
Except for HPPD, which gives me the spooks (Aah!)
If I go psychotic, at least it’d be exotic or ironic
Tell me, what would Hunter Thompson do?
[Bridge]
I’m far too weird to live, (Far too weird to live)
But I ain’t too rare to die (Ain’t too rare to die)
Take a good hard look
You can see it in my bloodshot eyes

[Chorus]
They call me Doctor Sunshine (Call me Doctor Sunshine)
I’ll make you feel just fine (I’ll make you feel just fine)
I’ll write you a prescription for some sunshine in your life!

[Break: Bud Abbott, Lou Costello]
You know the fellow's name on first base?
Who?
The fellow playing first base for Saint Louis
Who?
The guy on first base!
Who is on first!
Whad'dya askin' me for?
I'm not asking you, I'm telling ya. Who is on first!
I'm asking you who's on first!
That's the man's name?
That's whose name?
Yeah
Well go ahead and tell me!
Who?
The guy on first!
Who?!
The first base!
Who is on first!
Ay, you got a first base when I'm first first?
Right
Then who's playing first?
Absolutely
[Bridge]
I’m looking to live
‘Cause I know I’m going to die (I know that I’m going to die)
Take a good hard look
You can see it in my dilated eyes!

[Chorus]
They call me Doctor Sunshine (Call me Doctor Sunshine)
I’ll make you feel just fine (I’ll make you feel just fine)
I’ll write you a prescription for some sunshine in your life!