[Verse 1]
Why do you always come to me
With all your fucking tragedies?
I refuse to be your punching bag
So stop trying to
Drag me down into your sad

[Chorus]
I am not your therapist
And I'm not qualified for this
And I am not your service dog
And you need a professional
So stop trying to approach me
To cry about your tragedy
Since I can't handle all that weight
And I think I'm about to break

[Post-Chorus]
I am not your therapist
I am not your therapist
I'm not qualified for this
I am not your therapist
Come on buddy, you're not slick
I'm sick and tired of this
For the last time, I'll say it
I am not your therapist
[Verse 2]
Why do you always expect me
To remedy all your agony?
I will not allow this to go on
So stop bringing me down into your quicksand

[Chorus]
I am not your therapist
And I'm not qualified for this
And I am not your service dog
And you need a professional
So stop trying to approach me
To cry about your tragedy
Since I can't handle all that weight
And I think I'm about to break
You're pushing all my buttons in
And I have had enough of this
So how much do I have to say
That you should fucking go away?

[Post-Chorus]
I am not your therapist
I am not your therapist
I'm not qualified for this
I am not your therapist
Come on buddy, you're not slick
I'm sick and tired of this
For the last time, I'll say it
I am not your therapist