[CHAIRMAN]
What's a king without his crown?
Take away his throne and gown
He could be the rabble or the Russian czar
Judge each creature of our race
By each feature in his face
Look at him -
I rest my case - well there you are!
And it matters not to me what part of town you've come from
We but cheer you've made it here at all!

[CHAIRMAN & DROOD]
Here within this garish parish called the music hall

[CHAIRMAN & COMPANY]
And there you are!

[CHAIRMAN]
How very glad we are that

[CHAIRMAN & COMPANY]
There you are!

[CHAIRMAN]
It isn't who you are but
[CHAIRMAN & COMPANY]
Where you are
And there you are, and grateful are we to see
How fine and fair you are! There you are!

[CHAIRMAN]
Angela, my dear, are you out there?

[PRYSOCK]
Oh Bill! Here I am, yes, here I am...
I am standing with a gent who seems singularly bent
On attaching both his hands to both my knees

[CHAIRMAN]
Alice...

[NUTTING]
I'm considering the lap of a most engaging chap
And I'll let him do exactly as I please

[CHAIRMAN]
Clive...

[PAGET]
I've a lady down in front who's handed me her latch key
Surely she must know that spells her doom
[CHAIRMAN]
Victor...

[GRINSTEAD]
And these lovely people will promote me, more or less

[CHAIRMAN]
Deirdre...

[PEREGRINE]
And this man has grand designs to show me
In my dressing room...

[CHAIRMAN & COMPANY]
And there you are!
How distingue and debonair you are!
Just slightly south of Leicester Square you are!
That thankful we all should be full well-aware you are!
So lightning quick let's all kick up a fuss
We can but pray your trust is blind in us
So drink your fill and just unwind in us
A warmly wicked frame of mind in us
You'll find in us
We want you! and not a lot we care for
Where you've been
And not a jot we care how you got in:
We but care that there you are!
Damned if there you are!