Every year 'bout half past four
We all go down to the old town hall
And all night long we have a ball
At the Hog Wash Junction function

Last year we took ethyl, gasoline and
Added some ketchup and kerosine and
Mixed it up in the washing machine
At the Hog Wash Junction function

Hanna gossipped all night with Suzy Brown
And Old Uncle Ezra wore his boozy frown, and
Jake and Jim had to have a fight
It didn't make no difference, we rocked all night
Everybody flipped when Jill told Jack
"I'm flying to Mars on a donkey's back"
She was tight as an Austrian broker's sack
At the Hog Wash Junction function

(Hog Wash!)
(repeat at beginning of each bar during solos)

Yeah, Elmer Jones was dancing with Deeker Jones's girl
And even Judge Bootum got up and took a whirl
The Mayor did the square to a boogie beat
Yes, the cook got high and burned the meat
I knew the party was a huge success
When the band started playing "How About That Mess?"
They started to hop and couldn't stop
At the Hog Wash Junction function
They was singin' an' swingin' an' clownin' an' frownin' an'
Huggin' an' muggin' an' cooin' an' wooin'
They had a pa-suzillating ball
At the Hog Wash Junction function