[DORIS]
Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Why did I wander to find what lies yonder
When life was so cozy at home?

[DORIS & SUE]
Wondering while I wonder
Why did I fly?
Why did I roam?
Oh, why, oh, why, oh
Did I (Sue: You) leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better go

[SUE]
Home...

[DORIS]
O-H-I-O

[DORIS & SUE, (SUE)]
Maybe I'd (You'd) better go home

[SUE]
Mother, this song still doesn't explain why you abandoned your children
[DORIS]
Ohio was stifling, and we couldn't wait to get out of the place
And I told you, "Sue, we're going to be hunting Nazis"

[SUE]
And Pop said, "Sue, this might take a little while"

[DORIS]
Well, those Nazis are slippery, and me hunting them way down in Lima, Peru

[SUE]
And we'd get postcards from Niagara Falls

[DORIS]
Well, I'm stalking Mengele in Bolivian malls

[SUE]
Three times a year we'd get crackling phone calls!

[DORIS]
Happy birthday

[SUE]
"Hunting Nazis!"

[DORIS]
Merry Christmas
[SUE]
"Hunting Nazis!"

[DORIS]
Homesick

[SUE]
Abandoned

[DORIS]
Heartsick

[SUE]
Neglected!

[DORUS & SUE, (SUE)]
Thank heavens we're free!
Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh
Why did I ever leave Ohio?
Oh, why, oh, why, oh
Did I (You) leave Ohio?
Maybe I'd better stay
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