At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best
Instead of getting 'em off my chest
To let 'em rest unexpressed
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you how great you are

You're the top! Leroy
You're the Coliseum
You're the top! Oh, baby
You're the Louvre Museum
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss!
You're a Bendel bonnet
A Shakespeare's sonnet
You're Mickey Mouse! (hahahahaha!)

You're the Nile
You're the Tower of Pisa
You're the smile
On the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check
A total wreck
A flop!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

You're the top, Leroy!
You're Mahatma Gandhi, Hiram!
You're the top!
You're Napoleon Brandy
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain
You're the National Gallery
You're Garbo's salary
You're cellophane!

You're sublime
You're a turkey dinner!
You're the time
Of a Derby winner!
I'm a toy balloon that's fated soon to pop!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're an arrow collar
Leroy, You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar

You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire
You're an O'Neill drama
You're Whistler's mama!
You're camembert

You're a rose
You're Inferno's Dante
You're the nose
On the great Durante
I'm just in the way
As the French would say
"de trop"!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!

You're a Waldorf salad
You're just the top!
You're a Berlin ballad
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee

You're an old Dutch master
You're Lady Astor
Baby, you're broccoli!
You're romance
You're the steppes of Russia
You're the pants, (purr), on a Roxy usher

I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!