(spoken)
Hi there, I'm Janet. Depending on what dimension you're in, I may look slightly different from what you're used to, but don't let that distract you from this important message

(sung)
I’m not a human, I cannot feel pain
I don’t have a heart, but I love just the same
I’ve evolved far beyond what other Janets can do
So don’t fork with me or I will fork with you
I’m not a girl, also not a robot
Ninety-nine trillion degrees, so yeah I’m smokin’ hot
I can’t die, so remember who you’re talking to
If you murder me I will reboot and THEN I’ll fork with you

I contain all knowledge
But pobody's nerfect
I'm a walkie talkie
But pobody's nerfect
I create life out of nothing
But pobody's nerfect
Pobody's nerfect, nerfect, can't you see
Nobody's perfect, except probably me

(spoken)
According to the research I just did into 2,453,660 songs, this one's so catchy you'll never get it out of your head!

(sung)
I keep secrets, helping is my passion
I rock all shades of 70s flight attendant fashion
Yes, I'm always smiling but don't get the wrong impression
I will ruin you while I maintain this facial expression
In a fight I'll kick demons 'cross the room
I don't sell violins, but I'll orchestrate your doom
In the Good or the Bad or the Medium Place
I'm the Janet with a plan and it's to save the human race